:`-( RUNAWAY

So I try to keep my blogs on the happy side of life..but life's not always happy. I mentioned in my last one that some friends and I would be taking a trip to CA. We have it all planned out but now I am starting to rethink the whole thing. 1st---we leave on my sisters bday and that just isn't nice of me since she will be spending her birthday alone..i really should go up to Flag and stay with her. 2nd Dallin can't come because he has family stuff. :-( I am super bummed about it. PS have I mentioned my major crush on this boy who decided to move to utah.. 93 days ago..and I haven't seen him for 107..yes I am lame. oh well . 3rd reason...I stupidly set up my friend Cody with my friend Shae and I have been abandoned by both of them..the trip is starting to feel more like a trip for the 2 of them..and honestly I don't think it will turn out well. I have been really excited about this trip..up until they started dating..now I just don't want to go. And to top it all off I am making Cody a quilt for some extra money, sadly I feel like if it weren't for this quilt or the CA trip I would never hear from him. Makes me wonder if any of his other friends ever hear from him anymore. :-( It's really sad. I considered him one of my best friends, and we weren't even friends for that long. So there's my 1st rant

Lately, nothing makes me happy. I feel like the freaking ocean..I have really big ups...but those big ups turn into even bigger downs. It's not fair..I just want my life back. I want to be happy about things. :-( This past year has been so hard. With everything, jobs, school, boys, family..everything. I just want it all to be better again. I want to smile and laugh and not have a care in the world. But that's just thing. I think I care too much about people and how my friends are feeling. I do whatever it takes to make them happy. I should be the same way with my family but sometimes I just feel like I push them away. I don't know what to do. I really want to move out of Az but I don't think that will really solve anything and it will hurt my mom. But on the other hand, I don't know if there's anything left for me here. I don't want to run away but I do...why can't I just decide on something and get on with my life.
I wish like in that new country song by Love and Theft, I could just sell all my things and pack my bags and never look back, take the parallel line with the railroad track...I'll be a RUNAWAY!
Does running away solve anything..I'd like to think that it does, because I would really love to runaway right now...but sadly running away takes money...something I do not have. :-(

Update...??

This is me and Kalicia! We have some good times together! Many Many Adventures! As you can see by my other blogs!

These are the Grandparents! Granpa died on July 20, 2009 :-( But we all got to say goodbye to him on his birthday! July 5, 2009. That is the day this picture was taken!

This is my ultimate BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD! My lovely sister! I went to Flag and spent a few days with her! It was awesome!

This is my Shanna friend! We look like poo but its ok! This night we decided to climb up ontop of the Elmentary school that is across the street from her house! That was an adventure!

Here is my amazing family! Chad, Cody, Dad, Ivan(Ris' hubby), Katie, Mom, Me, Ris, and the cute lil man Gideon(Chad & Katie's boy)

This is Shaela! It was her first night long boarding! My good buddy Cody let's us ride his long boards all the time! So much fun! They make fun of me cuz I pose for picts while riding...what...ha!


Sadly I have no picts of Cody yet...but I will! He's freaking awesome!

And I have no recent ones Es either..but you better believe those will come! :-)

We are all taking a trip to California soon it will be so much fun! When I say we...I mean, Me, Cody, Shaela, Dallin, Kalicia...and one more guy...we haven't decdied who we want to take yet! ha! But it will be a BLAST! We're so excited!

So Markell said I need to update...so here goes! ... This could be long!

I graduated school! YAY! I was going to school aesthetics, I started in January and finished in June! I am now waiting to take my state boards. It costs a good $185 so I am trying to find the money..since I lost my job back in July things have been rough. I pretty much just lay out by the pool all day..are you wondering if I am tan...well I am not ha! :-)

I have some of the greatest friends a girl could ask for! I have my family of course! They are definitely my BEST friends! But then I have Kalicia, Shaela, Cody, Shanna, & Esther(just got home from her mission on friday!!) That's my crew! YAY! If I had picts of all of them I would post them..So I'll post what I do have of them! :-)

Kalicia and I have been friends for about 2 years! YAY! Shae is a girl who was in my aesthetics class and pretty much the sweetest cutest girl on the planet! Love her! Cody is my all time best guy friend! I freaking love him! He will do anything for me and I'll do anything for him! He's the best. Currently I am making him a quilt and he is going to pay for it...money towards my state boards! :-) Yes he's the best! Es was one of the 1st girls I met when I moved out here and she is nothing short of amazing! Shanna is a girl who was in my ward but we didn't become friends until I moved back home! she's the greatest!

1st DATE!

Ok so let's not get too excited! Just kidding be VERY excited!
So last night I had my first date with possibly the cutest guy EVER! His name in Clint Brock. Oh so cute! I'll start at the beginning. He is a patient at the office I work at, the first time he came in I really thought nothing of him. He gave me his paper work and I took him to the back to get his 1st consult. Then when he and his friend came to reschedule I wrote them in the book at the day & time they wanted...they were both totally shocked that I remembered their names. The next time he was in, me and Judith were going on about how we don't like small talk with guys (long story) anyway so he comes up to the desk and was like so what's so bad about small talk. He comes in 3 times a week and I don't really think too much...like yeah he's cute but whatever. Then one day he came in and Judith was rescheduling him and she was like when am I going to see you again..( she's Hispanic so her English is close to perfect, but not quite) he looked at me like oh my gosh is she asking me out. I just busted up laughing! His face was Hilarious! Then I just kept doing my work, then he left. Judith was like 'oh Sadie he likes you!!!' I said uh huh yeah..right..she was like no no he really likes you! he kept looking at you and smiling. (Ok she was right and he is oh so super cute) Anyway so from then on Judith decided to spread the word through the office that Clint like me and I thought he was attractive. Well this past Friday, Clint came into the office before I was there and Dr. Rogers told him that I liked him and then Judith proceeded to ask him if he had a girlfriend..he thought she was hitting on him lol. When I got in they all told me about it. It was funny. So I worked on Saturday and he wasn't supposed to come in until Monday, but he came in. I was sweeping the floors and emptying the trash when I rounded the corner going full walking speed to get the trash at the front when I ran right into him..I had no idea he had even come in. That was kinda weird and I wasn't sure how to react cuz I was a little surprised. Then he stayed and talked with Dr Rogers for awhile. He was talking about some tickets that he had and didn't have anyone to go with, and Rogers was like well just ask Sadie...I pretended not to hear that and kept working. Then a little bit later when some other patients had come in, he bounced up (literally) to my desk and was like what are you doing today? Do you wanna go to this college basketball game with me? I was like yeah sure. He was like well there is one catch....you'd have to drive. It's out in Glendale and I'm on my way out there right now cuz I have to work..I was like whoa that's far. Then he said well we'll work something out. And then he left. Rogers came up and was like so are you going and I was like I dunno he said we'd work something out but he doesn't have my number... :-( Dr Rogers was like well that sucks, why didn't you just agree to drive up there. I said ' I don't have enough gas in my car to make it up there and back home' Rogers was like well I'll give you some money..call him and tell him your coming. So I got his number out of the computer and called him. he gave me directions and I proceeded to get all nervous to go. Then about 20 min later he txtd me and told me that his boss may not let him off :-( turns out his boss didn't let him off so we had to cancell that. But then he asked if I wanted to go to a movie or something with him that night. I of course said yes and asked when he was getting off. he said 5 and that he'd call me. well he called me at 530 and said that his best friends parents were in town and wanted to take him out to dinner. so we planned for a movie after. he asked me to check movie times and we decided to go to the 820 showing of Monsters VS Ailens. So I waited and waited and got nervous and wondered if it was actually gonna work out. Then 8 finally rolls around and I had decided that I would meet him there (I felt bad) cuz he was in Glendale and I'm in AJ (super far apart) so I met him at the theatre. I called him when I got there and asked where he parked...there was a spot right by his truck..which was pretty cool. The movie was great! So funny! After we walked out to our cars and just stood there and talked then he was like do you wanna sit down...I looked around like 'where' and then he put down his tail gate and we sat and talked til 1245. It was awesome...although I kinda feel like maybe I told him too much :-( Oh well I'm a worrier and beat myself up about things like this. I just need to not worry about it and go on like it was AMAZING! which it totally was. Then we left and went our seperate ways. I see him tomorrow cuz he comes in for an appointment. I'm excited..!!! I know so much about him and he knows alot about me...which is good...right!?!
Now to tell you what he looks like..Dark brown curly hair, brown eyes. Super muscular, 6'4'' (yay!) I was wearing 4'' heels and still only went to the top of his shoulder! yay! Girls this man in HOTT! In every way! I so hope something...anything works out!
Oh and he plays football for MCC.
:-D

I LOVE TREE!

So a few weeks ago, Kalicia and I wanted to go and out and do something. We use to go and kidnap our friend Tim all the time. So we decided to do it again. We had no idea what we were going to do after. We got a text from someone Kalicia goes to church with saying she was having a bonfire at her plce. So we decided to go to that. Her house was awesome. Her parents moved and have left the place to her. It wasn't like any of the other houses in Az,. I felt like I was in Utah! It was great! We saw her trees and decided to climb them. This is the product of our adventure. Oh and Tim decided he was cold and attempted to put on my little jacket, but it didn't fit him. Kalicia was wearing my 'Free Hugs' sweater so he put that on instead! lol so funny!

OCEAN SPRAY!

So I just came across some pictures from a few months ago and thought..why didn't I blog this AMAZING adventure..so I will now :-)

Me and one of my best friends, Kalicia, like to take random trips to Vegas. This time as we were driving around, we saw in Henderson the OceanSpray warehouse. And because we are super random and crazy we decided to find shirts that say oceanspray, get oceanspray juice and take pictures outside of the building. Sadly we couldn't find shirts, so we saw this place on the strip that makes shirts..so we had some made. It was so much fun! The guy asked us why oceanspray, so we told him and I swear he almost fell over laughing. Then he was like "You 2 are from a small town aren't you" it was hilarious!! So here is the product of our adventure!

Halloween!

Top Gun boys! The very super cute one standing next to me is my friend Kolter, yes he is very short...dang it...I am actually bending my knees so that I don't tower over him. haha

Me Yumi and Kalicia

Jason
The Group. Me Kalicia Yumi Shaun Charlie Kacie

Kalicia..Patch's back side...and Me

This Halloween was so much fun! I went with my two roommates Kalicia and Yumi. We dressed up as Charlies Angels Bedtime..haha lame I know. but its the only thing we could really agree on and have the same ideas. So we started the night around 10 by going to the Rockin R Ranch party. When we first got there Kalicia's boyfriends Talmage stole her from us and this guy came straight up to Yumi and asked for her number. Funny. A guy in my ward came up to me and we started talking and he was like hey you have to see this txt I got there other day. I was thinking random..we barely ever talk and now you want to show a txt someone sent you...odd. Anyway so he showed me and someguy he doesn't even know sent him a txt saying 'leave Sadie alone, I am trying to chill with her right now' WEIRD. He was like do you know this number and I was like no. It was so weird. I still don't know who the guy was and why he would say that to Patch. We have never even hung out before, let alone talked in public. Lol it was funny though. The party was alot of fun, but super crowded. We left there around 12 and headed to another party that was just a house party out by our apartment. It was supposed to be free, but they charged us 5 bucks at the door. LAME so we paid and went..bad idea. About 20 minutes into being there the cops came and broke it up( oh ps these are all mormon parties, so there are no drugs or alcohol) Then we wanted to go back to Rockin R but by the time we would've gotten back there it would be over. So we headed back to our place and called friends to see what their plans were for the night. Kalicia ended up going to bed because she had to work in the morning. Yumi and I went to Waffle House with a guy she met that night. Then he asked us to go with him and his friends to Mill. So we went.On Mill when we met up w/ this guy's friends, this guy came up to Yumi and I and just started talking to us. We didn't think much of it at first we thought he was friends with the people we were meeting up with becuase he started talking to us around the time we were meeting these other guys. Turns out he was not friends with them and they had no idea who he was. It started to get creepy. He kept telling Yumi that if she lost her ride or wanted to leave anytime he would take us. CREEPY! So we tried so many different ways to ditch him and it just wasnt working out. Finally he left, it was so weird. Then we decided to call it night after walking some of our new found friends to their cars. We got home around 430 it was AWESOME.

He Took Part Of My Heart

He took part of my heart....I want it back. It hurts so much. I can't stop crying. It has been 4 days and I still cry everyday. Not as much as I did the first day, but I still cry. I wish it wouldn't hurt so bad. I tried to break up with him the first time anyway, so you'd think this was what I wanted...well its not. I realized how much I truly liked him when we got back together. Then he had to go and break up with me. I'm still so lost. Mostly because when I saw him on Saturday, he acted like we didn't even break up. He put is arms around me, held my hand, and even kissed me, you'd think since we broke up he wouldn't do those kinds of things. I was so confused, yet happy at the same time. I really really like him. Then later that night he went to the singles ward activity....something he never does. And then at church on Sunday I sat by him in the combined meeting and he acted like I wasn't even there. Yeah I didn't contribute much either, but really. I sat next to him. The next move was up to him. I could have sat somewhere else and pretended like I didn't even see him. And tonight I went to FHE and he was there, also something he never does, and he was with another girl the whole time and towards the end I found out he came with a girl that I am acquaintances with and he knows that I don't like her and the way she treats people, plus she lied and her and him making out...or so he says..so why would he bring her to this? And in front of me. He barely said hi to me when he saw me, but I didn't say hi either, I was trying to hold back the tears. It was really hard. Once he passed they all came flooding out and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I just had to leave. I tried calling him tonight, which probably wasn't the best idea..but I did anyway. This is just way too hard for me and I don't know what to do.
Everyone says I will find someone else and that there are better guys out there, but right now, I don't want anyone else. I want him. I don't want to wait for some other guy to come around and love me the way I thought he did. Or more.
I'm not saying I want to marry this guy, but I really don't want it to be over just like that. We were such good friends, and its going to be super hard to get back to being really good friends. He's treating me the way he treated me when he was dating one of my best friends, and that is really hard. I don't feel like someone he knows. I feel like someone he use to know, that he doesn't care to know anymore. We had our fun and now its over. Well to me its not over. I don't want it to be over. I cant handle the way things are. :-( And I can't talk to anyone about it because they all give me the same bull crap that I don't want to hear. People think they are helping but really they aren't because I already know what they are saying and I understand it and agree with it, I just don't it to be a reality right now. I want him back. I want him to hold me and let me cry on his shoulder. Even if he would just talk to me I might be ok. I want to hear his voice and laugh his lame jokes and stories that always get me.