He Took Part Of My Heart

He took part of my heart....I want it back. It hurts so much. I can't stop crying. It has been 4 days and I still cry everyday. Not as much as I did the first day, but I still cry. I wish it wouldn't hurt so bad. I tried to break up with him the first time anyway, so you'd think this was what I wanted...well its not. I realized how much I truly liked him when we got back together. Then he had to go and break up with me. I'm still so lost. Mostly because when I saw him on Saturday, he acted like we didn't even break up. He put is arms around me, held my hand, and even kissed me, you'd think since we broke up he wouldn't do those kinds of things. I was so confused, yet happy at the same time. I really really like him. Then later that night he went to the singles ward activity....something he never does. And then at church on Sunday I sat by him in the combined meeting and he acted like I wasn't even there. Yeah I didn't contribute much either, but really. I sat next to him. The next move was up to him. I could have sat somewhere else and pretended like I didn't even see him. And tonight I went to FHE and he was there, also something he never does, and he was with another girl the whole time and towards the end I found out he came with a girl that I am acquaintances with and he knows that I don't like her and the way she treats people, plus she lied and her and him making out...or so he says..so why would he bring her to this? And in front of me. He barely said hi to me when he saw me, but I didn't say hi either, I was trying to hold back the tears. It was really hard. Once he passed they all came flooding out and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I just had to leave. I tried calling him tonight, which probably wasn't the best idea..but I did anyway. This is just way too hard for me and I don't know what to do.
Everyone says I will find someone else and that there are better guys out there, but right now, I don't want anyone else. I want him. I don't want to wait for some other guy to come around and love me the way I thought he did. Or more.
I'm not saying I want to marry this guy, but I really don't want it to be over just like that. We were such good friends, and its going to be super hard to get back to being really good friends. He's treating me the way he treated me when he was dating one of my best friends, and that is really hard. I don't feel like someone he knows. I feel like someone he use to know, that he doesn't care to know anymore. We had our fun and now its over. Well to me its not over. I don't want it to be over. I cant handle the way things are. :-( And I can't talk to anyone about it because they all give me the same bull crap that I don't want to hear. People think they are helping but really they aren't because I already know what they are saying and I understand it and agree with it, I just don't it to be a reality right now. I want him back. I want him to hold me and let me cry on his shoulder. Even if he would just talk to me I might be ok. I want to hear his voice and laugh his lame jokes and stories that always get me.