I like him SO SO SO SO SO much! We got back together after I thought we needed to start seeing other people...boy was I wrong. I tried hanging out with other guys, but they just aren't him. I went to his house last night and he said that he had been thinking about me alot this week. I was thinking he was going to say something like he really really liked me and was happy we were together..I should have picked up on the signs he was giving me the whole night..but I am a bit slow. Anyway he said that we should stop seeing each other... I didn't know what to do, so I just got up and headed for the door. I really didn't want to cry in front of him again and I was really confused. I really thought things were going great. He stopped me at the door and tried to explain himself. I braced myself for the worst...waiting to hear all the things I do wrong and why we shouldn't be together. Oddly I felt I got the total opposite. He stood there and said all these super sweet things about me and what he liked about me. And almost reasons why we should be together. The only negative thing I got out of it was that we are too different(which I disagree) and that there is something missing in our relationship...which I agree. I wanted to tell him all the things I like about him, but whenever I get the chance I don't know how to say it or I feel dumb telling him. I know I shouldn't but I really do.
I want to tell him that I love the way he holds me....hence the reason at the end of the night I never want to leave or want him to leave. He joked the other night that in order for him to leave he has to tell me he's leaving 45 minutes before he is actually going to leave because by then I will have to come to the fact that he really has to go. I could honestly hug him forever. I love the way he makes me laugh..all the time.. he makes me so happy. He can make me laugh at things that really aren't that funny, or aren't supposed to be funny, but I still laugh. I love that he is passionate about things and doesn't let other people's opinions change his mind. He is always talking about his camero and when we first started dating I didn't like it all that much, yeah it was nice, but I didn't think it was that nice. After learning about all the hard work and passion he's put into it, I can't help but think its one of the nicest cars I've ever seen and I miss riding in it. He teaches me things, whether he realizes it or not. Not like big life changing things, but little things that I wouldn't have noticed or caught on to. I think he is amazing at the guitar. I knew he played but I never knew how good he was. When he played 'Dust in the wind' by Kansas, I thought my heart was going to pop out of my chest and land on the floor in front of him...ok not really but it sounded good right....?? Point is he was really good and it was very impressive to me.
How do I tell him all of that? I want him to know, but when I get around him...I can't tell him my feelings for him. I'm not afraid of rejection any more because I obviously got that last night, but is it right to tell him now? Wouldn't that just add to the confusion? I don't know.
I really don't want to believe that things between us are over. Yeah we'll still be friends. but I don't know if I will be able to stop myself from sitting really close to him, laying my head on his shoulder or grabbing his hand. :-( I guess only time will tell
Hopefully this is not The End.
I want to tell him that I love the way he holds me....hence the reason at the end of the night I never want to leave or want him to leave. He joked the other night that in order for him to leave he has to tell me he's leaving 45 minutes before he is actually going to leave because by then I will have to come to the fact that he really has to go. I could honestly hug him forever. I love the way he makes me laugh..all the time.. he makes me so happy. He can make me laugh at things that really aren't that funny, or aren't supposed to be funny, but I still laugh. I love that he is passionate about things and doesn't let other people's opinions change his mind. He is always talking about his camero and when we first started dating I didn't like it all that much, yeah it was nice, but I didn't think it was that nice. After learning about all the hard work and passion he's put into it, I can't help but think its one of the nicest cars I've ever seen and I miss riding in it. He teaches me things, whether he realizes it or not. Not like big life changing things, but little things that I wouldn't have noticed or caught on to. I think he is amazing at the guitar. I knew he played but I never knew how good he was. When he played 'Dust in the wind' by Kansas, I thought my heart was going to pop out of my chest and land on the floor in front of him...ok not really but it sounded good right....?? Point is he was really good and it was very impressive to me.
How do I tell him all of that? I want him to know, but when I get around him...I can't tell him my feelings for him. I'm not afraid of rejection any more because I obviously got that last night, but is it right to tell him now? Wouldn't that just add to the confusion? I don't know.
I really don't want to believe that things between us are over. Yeah we'll still be friends. but I don't know if I will be able to stop myself from sitting really close to him, laying my head on his shoulder or grabbing his hand. :-( I guess only time will tell
Hopefully this is not The End.
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